Rambling

i saw my therapist today…had to pay 100 dollars today for past costs that the clinic forgot to charge me for. They arent keeping their records right.

I may not have to have my parent in the sessions with me anymore. Im not sure. We are doing a trial run with that. Today it went well, and we are trying it again just one-on-one next time, too.

I feel barraged by stress. So much stress. I feel like i’m putting myself through it, but then why would I put myself through stress? I feel constantly watched by police, private investigators, and the government. Especially police. I can’t ever shake that knowledge and feeling. i dont just FEEL it; I KNOW i’m being watched.

I’m drinking to rid my stress and anxiety right now. I just want everything in my life to go away right now. I want to be alone so bad but then i’m too scared to be alone. I really just almost want to be dead, honestly.

One thought on “Rambling

  1. Your honesty is inspiring. Thank you for sharing this post! I am sorry to hear of your stress and troubles but I commend your courage; you are brave. I too can relate to the misery and frustration of craving isolation only to loath loneliness. It’s a hard place to be, and I know that I’m stating the obvious but I just want you to know that I can relate and if validation can help you at all, consider this it.

    Like

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