The Idea of Recovery Has Become Non-Existant

Everytime i realize i dont have anyone around me to talk to i tear up a little. Pathetic.

Talking to people online isnt something i truly wanted. i started doing it to temporarily combat loneliness until i found someone in the real world. 3 years later i still have no one and my presence online has increased 3-4x times as much as i even wanted it to. Yet i’m getting to a point where I dont want to talk at all, now. Or maybe I just see the act of telling someone how I feel and what I think is becoming pointless really. Through the limited help i’ve recieved, and through all the cracks i’ve fallen through in my life, I feel the whole “sharing” and “being open” about oneself has had its opportunity where I could have done that. But I am become less open to being open with someone one on one anymore, online or in real life. I havent quit yet, but I cant say it will stick around much longer. It’s been diminished drastically. Also my wanting to get professional help.

I went through my late teens adhering and being completely compliant in every way thrown at me. Then when I became twenty i denounced medication but still was very open to any and all therapys or treatments non-pharma related. Now around my 23rd birthday, i’m not sure how i feel about anything at all. Period.

3 thoughts on “The Idea of Recovery Has Become Non-Existant

  1. Newtus I really like how you set this up. I enjoy reading your stuff. I only wish that life was easier for you and that you could find peace and happiness some how. I’m almost 41 (will be next month) and have been struggling all my life. I still haven’t found the peace and happiness yet either. But I’m still trying! I hope you will also continue to seek a better life for yourself. Please keep posting and I will keep reading đŸ™‚
    Sincerely,
    Cracking Slowly

    Like

      • It helps me a lot to read what you write. It helps me to know that I am not alone. I like that I’ve found support on PC and that I can help by being supportive to others đŸ™‚

        Like

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